How hard can it be?
by Fringlish
Summary: Enough was enough so Percy decided to learn archery. After all it was hard being the only demigod in the past 3000 years to miss targets at 2 meters. The problem is that he never thought learning could be so dangerous.
1. Chapter 1 -How hard can it be?-

Welcome one and all to my first story. Now for the standard stuff: I do not own Percy Jackson, This is all in good fun. Um... bananas are a great source of potassium.

I hope you all enjoy this little story that my brain demanded I give you. Until the next time i think of something. Fringlish

P.S. If you see any errors follow these steps

Make fun of me

post a review pointing it out

tell me the error

make fun of me again

watch as I try to change it

laugh

How hard can it be?

A lone figure strode down to the archery range at camp half blood. The sun had just risen and covered the camp in a soft golden glow. The figure had his face covered with a deep forest green cape and hood. As he got closer he lowed his hood showing a mop of night black hair and sparkling green eyes. Looking at the range Percy smiled. The whole of the Apollo cabin was there practising or showing off he did not really care but this early in the morning they would still be half asleep children of the sun god or not.

Uncapping his power so he gave of the aura of a minor god he pulled back the hood on his cloak masking his face once again in darkness before moving with a purpose towards the group.

When Percy flared his aura a couple of the Apollo cabin members nearly dropped their bows in shock. They quickly tuned their heads looking at the imposing individual swiftly striding towards the practice ground. When the man got within 15 feet Will knelt down a bowed his head followed by the rest of the cabin.

"My Lord, he said, to what do we owe the pleasure of this visit"

Under his cloak it was all Percy could do not to burst out laughing and for the next two minutes he remained silent not trusting his own voice. His body shaking trying not to cry out. Worry started to appear on the face of the Apollo campers, afraid that they had angered the man when they greeted him. Finally Percy manage to speak disguising his voice with the mist "I am no Lord, there is no need to kneel before me. It is rather I who should bow to you William as I have need of your help. I came to see you today as I have an offer to make"

10 minutes later after Will had got his head around what had just happened he spoke up.

"Okay so let me see if I understand this, you will take all the Apollo cabin chores for the next two months and all we have to do in exchange is teach you to hit the target at 150 feet. Not hit the bulls-eye just the we can't do that we have to do the chores for a cabin of your choice for a year. Is that all correct?" Questioned Will Solace looking a bit sceptical at the offer wondering if the Hermes cabin was playing another trick on them as the offer seemed to good to be true.

"That is it son of Apollo. Do we have a deal?" replied Percy his voice and face still covered giving him a rather eerie quality

Will looked back at the rest of the campers all of them nodding and trying to get him to agree to it. After all how hard could it be to teach someone how to hit a target. All of the Apollo kids could do that after hours of joining the camp and getting rid of 2 months of chores for the largest cabin just made it irresistible the penalty was a bit steep but no one could be that bad at archery.

"We do, answered Will, shall we shake on the Styx?" Without another word the cloaked man thrust out his hand to grasp Will's sealing the deal. Pulling back his aura Percy lowed his hood nearly bursting out laughing again at their expressions.

" Now now Will, Percy said, remember the terms no going back on it i'm afraid"

The range was quiet for a couple of minutes before Will utter one word summing up the feeling of every Apollo camper there:

"Bollocks"


	2. Chapter 2 -How bad is he really?-

First of all big thanks to WiseGeekGirl for her review. What a way to motivate me and also make sure that I spend twice as long on quality control to keep up to par. Seriously that review both invigorated and terrified me, thanks.

On a side note coconut water is also a good source of potassium.

How bad is he really?

Will remained still as Percy made his way towards him unable to understand the mess his cabin was now in. Percy had always been bad at archery every one knew that how ever wile being at camp half blood he had somehow become worse. Even with hours spent at the range under the care of Chiron. When Percy first arrived he was as bad as most unclaimed campers so no one had though twice about it. The only thing that stood out was that he did not progress much but event then he could hit the target most of the time.

After he was claimed as the son of Poseidon it was clear that he would never be a great archer as in all of history there was only one good Archer with Poseidon as his father. Most of his brothers and sisters could just about hit a barn door as long as there was not much wind. However it was after Percy had rescued Nico and Bianca that things had started to go down hill.

The decline has started very slowly. No one noticed it at first, attributing it to a bad day for the bad archer. Will was sure that was when it started. Before he left to rescue Artemis he was only hitting the target half the time. Quite the decline for some one who had spent that much time at camp half

blood. In fact it was another world first. Trust Percy to break another demigod record.

You would also think that going on a quest with some of the best archers in the world, assisted by the god of archery to rescue the goddess of archery that you would pick up a trick or two. However yet again Percy managed to get even worse. Upon his return He could only hit a target on a good day most of his arrows skimmed the sides before disappearing into the long grass behind the range. It was also around that time that he managed to get his first bulls-eye, on his neighbours target that is. Percy was mocked by Clarisse for about a week after the fact.

Then came the fiasco with the labyrinth and much to the delight of the campers Percy stopped trying to practice archery and for a while life on the range was pretty calm. It was also around this time that Percy threw himself fully into sword training something that would serve them well in the years to come.

The last time that Percy used a bow before going to the roman camp was at the battle for Manhattan. Before the first clash he took up a bow to try to do some damage before the monsters got into range. It was the first time that Will had seen an arrow that was shot dead on swerve and miss an entire army. If they had not been facing certain death, dismemberment and disembowelment he was sure he would of laughed at the display.

Thankfully for the Greco-roman relations the roman did not hold much stock in bows so they were spared the sight of Percy's archery. During the quest to Alaska Percy developed more control of his water powers and invented a sort of water jet the worked well as a ranged weapon. Over the following months and Gaia's hissy fit he perfected that technique and no longer used a bow in any way shape of form.

The only exception being when they were thousands of feet in the air surrounded by then Stymphalian birds where according to Jason Percy had shot an arrow that has somehow ended up behind him. Something that should have been impossible but this was Percy that they were talking about. The good news was that Percy quickly abandoned the idea of bows and continued to stick things with that bronze sword of his eventually hitting Gaia herself with the pointy end.

All things considered it would not be that bad just to give up now and take the Poseidon cabins chores for a year. There was only Percy in that cabin so it would not be too bad.

Will was brought back to reality by Percy waving his hand back and forth in front of his eyes.

Smirking Percy uttered words that turned Will's stomach to ice. " You do remember the terms do you not? The cabin that you will have to do the chores for if you fail will not be my own, that would be to easy. You will have to do the chores for the Hermes cabin". This time Percy was worried that his had indeed broken the son of Apollo as the range was quiet for a couple of minutes before Will utter one word summing up the feeling of every Apollo camper there for the second time:

"Bollocks"


	3. Chapter 3 -Why are we doing this?-

First off thank you to OverLordRevan for following and fanpercyjackson for following as well as adding to our favourites it means a lot. Also big thanks to the people who left a review. As they were felt under Guest I shall call you Tom and Martin. Tom thanks for the review I also think it is awesome then again I am a bit biased something to do with it being mine and all. Finally Martin I hope you enjoy the next chapter and you can always bribe me with a nice cup of tea if you want chapters sooner.

Also Avocados are another very good source of potassium.

Why are we doing this?

Will turned around a looked back at the rest of the Apollo cabin. Half of them looked like their puppy had dies and the other half looked like they were watching it happen. Turning back to Percy he said: " Due to the unique nature of the challenge could you give us a day to.." He was interupted by a loud cough behind him."A week to prepare", he finished."It is a rather complicated challenge".

With a small laugh Percy replied. " I understand but try not to wait too long. The Hermes campers always make such a mess. Would we be able to start Monday." After Will agreed Percy turned around and made his way over to the beach leaving the dejected Apollo cabin floundering at the archery range. He did not like to see them in that much misery but enough was enough. He had always been bad at archery and somehow it had got worse over the years. No matter what he did nothing could help. While on the quest to save Artemis Zoe had even tried to help him with his horrible aim. After the problems they had during the start quest he had earned her respect due to his actions with the Nemean lion and during the graveyard. Especially when he rejected Aphrodite's advances but as stubborn as Zoe was even she gave up after 4 hours and promptly banned him from using a bow for the rest of the quest for the safety of the entire group.

If it was only up to him, Percy would probably never pick up a bow again but unfortunately for him he did not have much choice as in a few weeks he would have to light the flames of the Atlantian torch to celebrate Triton's 3000th birthday.

After the second war Percy had spent a lot of time down under the sea. Annabeth's death at the hand of Gaia had nearly broken Percy but instead of falling to pieces he had thrown himself into helping his father regain control of the oceans. While Triton and Amphitrite had not been very welcoming of Percy when he arrived that had all changed when he had saved them from an assassin sent by Gaia taking the blade meant for them in his shoulder. He and Triton became closer and closer until Triton shocked Percy a few months ago by naming him his brother in front of the Atlantian council. When the subject of Triton's 3000th birthday had come up He had insisted that the one to light the Atlantian torch to time the length of the festivities should be his brother Percy. When that was announced Percy had been ecstatic. He was finally accepted by Poseidon's family. Unfortunately for them Triton had never seen the demigod use a bow as they were not common in the water realm. So when the news sunk in Percy began to panic. It was made worse when Triton would not listen to Percy insistent that he should have the honour as part of the royal family and he ratified the decision before going to inform his father. After Poseidon had fainted at the news Triton finally understood the gravity of the situation but it had already been decided so he had no choice but to continue with his choice.

The first thing he did was to see how bad Percy actually was so they quickly swam up to camp half blood to practice. After seeing Percy miss the target at 10 feet by nearly shooting himself Triton felt himself feeling land-sick for the first time in centuries. He could not understand how someone could be that bad. The sons of Poseidon were never master archers but they could at least fire an arrow without something exploding unlike Percy.

After 10 minutes Triton had had enough. Percy needed some help, possible divine help but he would only ask Apollo as the last resort as the god of water with his stoic personality did not mix well with the Haiku loving sun buffoon. There was a tribe of sen nymphs near New Zealand that specialised in archery as they often hunted on land as well as the oceans. Something to do with kiwis being wonderful wrapped in seaweed. Although Triton did wonder why you needed a bow to hunt fruit.

Regardless he would go to them for help. The only problem being that they had not seen anyone from the royal family for decades so he would be stuck there for a week before he could return with the trainers due to the celebrations that were sure to occur.

Leaving Percy at Camp half Blood with his promise that he would do all he could to get better in the next week he started to make his way south. As he passed the gulf of mexico a single word permeated his brain that summed up his entire situation:

"Bollocks"


	4. Chapter 4 - Can we do this?-

Hello first thing again, A big thank you if you even read my whole story. even just seeing the views is nice but a big thanks to my second story follower and favouriter (not a word I know. Deal with it) Fist-it-Out And Mossflower1234 for following it. I hope I do not disappoint you with future chapters. Finally big high five for Sparklehannah for her(?) review it is my favourite review so far. (Sorry wisegeekgirl, Tom and Martin) you will just have to review again to get back the top spot

Also spinach contains a lot of potassium.

Can we do this?

The Apollo cabin watched Percy walk away as they began to wonder what the hell they had got themselves into. Will turned back to face the cabin his brain working at 100 miles an hour trying to figure out a way to avoid the year worth of chores. The memories of last time they had had to chores for the Hermes cabin still plagued the minds of the campers.

After a very high stakes capture the flag game they had done the chores for a day. During that day the Hermes cabin had flexed their trickster muscles. Poor Simon still woke up screaming about the mess he had to clean up from the bathroom. He quivered slightly as that was only one day of chores. If they ended up with a whole year... No they could not they would have to teach Percy how to hit a target. Their lives literally depended on it.

"Okay we all know what is at stake here. We can't lose this bet. We all know what happened last time we had to do chores for the Hermes cabin so we know we can't lose this no matter what." At this he heard a small sob from one of the campers looking over it was Simon curled up in a ball rocking back and forth.

"First of all we need to make sure the range is clear of people. Who knows how bad he is now. Kayla see what you can do with the Hephaestus cabin. Something tells me will will need their help to contain Jackson. Austin do you think you could give her a hand. Offer what ever you need to. I don't think any of us want to be turned into a pin cushion"

looking at the rest of the cabin he paused wondering what else they could do. Short of praying he could not think of much.

"Austin as the second best archer we have, you will be helping me teach Percy we will take it in shifts to try and drill it into him as fast as we can, I'm not sure what else we can do. Percy played us all very well".

"That is true", said Austin, "It was a trick worthy of Hermes with the planning of Athena. We really messed up this time. It would help if the rest of us went off the the other cabins, maybe they have something that can help or have a good idea. Monday is only two days away we will need a divine miracle to pull this off."

At this Anna, one of the new campers perked up. " maybe a divine miracle is just what we could use" She stated. "Ryan do you still have those photos of when our dad lost that bet with Aphrodite and had to dress in drag for an entire day?" She asked.

"I do, replied the son of Apollo, but if dad found out it was me I would not hear the end of it and I'm not sure I can even be that cruel to him"

"Ryan", stated Will, "it is that or we have to do a year worth or chores"

"Would you like the photos in A4 or A3 format", countered Ryan a second later.

"Just get them done. We will only use it as a last resort though", finished Will," Okay troops we all know what we have to do, we need to all meet up on Sunday evening to finalise the plan. Now move we are wasting time"

Will saw his brothers and sisters spring into action and shuddered again at the time they had left to do this. He wondered if the gods would be terrible upset if he prayed to Kronos for more time. It may just be worth it.

As he ran off to the armoury to pick out and reserve the best bow and arrows he could find to give him more of an edge he spoke a word that was also being uttered with by the other 11 Apolloites at the same time as they thought about their situation:

"Bollocks"


	5. Chapter 5 - Okay let's do this?-

Hello again, 5th chapter already. not bad for something I wanted to make a one shot. No new favourites, follows or reviews for the last chapter. you make me sad. because of this I won't tell you something else that has a lot of Potassium. See you in the next chapter.

Okay Let's do this?

Monday morning arrived too soon for the Apollo campers as Will was woken up by the screams of Simon as he yet again dreamt about what they would have to do if they failed. With a small inaudible sigh as it would not do to weaken the already all time low moral of the sun cabin he rolled over and began to get ready.

After waking up his cabin mates and telling them for the 40th time that they had to do this and they could not just run away and join the roman legion no matter how tempting as Percy was still an honorary praetor and then he could just pull rank, They made their way down to the range hoping that their preparations would be enough to see Percy already there. Hiding his trepidation Will bounded over followed by Austin.

"Morning Percy, Will stated, We will start off by seeing just what you can do then Austin and I shall take it in turns to try and drill archery into that thick head of yours".

" Sounds okay, said Percy, but what are all the other cabin members here for surely you don't need them all to train me?"

"Well, replied Austin, we have heard a couple of tales of your archery skills so they are hear for damage control mostly".

At this Percy looked a bit sheepish, "Are you sure they will be enough, after all I am pretty bad"

at this the Apollo campers stilled. They had done some research over the past few days to see if they could find out just how much they had to work with.. No one could be as bad as Percy was claimed to be. It was just not possible. But the more stories they collected the more worried they became. "Percy, Will counted, you are not bad you are terrible. So before you get near an arrow we are going to go through the basics first. Step one is how to hold a bow".

For the next couple of hours both Will and Austin were nearly brought to tears trying to teach Percy how to hold a bow. It should not be possible to have so many errors. For trying out loud. After seeing just how bad it was both Will and Austin tried to emulate his stance just to see what they had to do but they could not do it. Percy's stance was just too impossible to emulate. So starting from scratch the two archers slowly moulded Percy's stance until it managed to at least resemble something that would work although Austin would not bet on it.

As for Percy the day had become progressing worse as time went on. For some reason every stance and hold that he thought he knew. That he though he had learnt was wrong. How was that even possible he thought. He had trained for years under Chiron and yet it was as if he was bad on purpose. Or as Will and Austin had put it " Worse than a son of Hermes in advanced calculus". The real problem was that around an hour after they had fixed a point of his stance they would check and find that he had somehow reverted to an even worse form.

Oblivious to his surroundings Percy did not notice the fine copper mesh that was slowly put around the range. It had take the Hephaestus cabin over 40 hours to make the fence that was designed to stop stray arrows. The last thing they needed was for one of Percy's arrows to fly off and nail an unprepared camper somewhere in camp.

When it was done Martin, another Apollo camper signalled to Will that they could start with live testing, nodding in conformation Will slowly removed a training arrow from one of the quivers they had brought wondering just how much they would regret this. Before returning to Percy and handing him the arrow.

"Ok in order to do any more we need you to shoot this arrow, it is a special training one, explained Will, so it will not pack much of a punch. I need you to shoot it at the 10 feet target."

Not wanting to waste time Percy picked up the arrow fitting it to the bow. Not seeing any problem with the stance Will motioned for him to continue. Percy released the arrow before immediately ducking as the arrow ricochet off the side of the range, skidding around the mesh before shooting back over his head before missing Will's head by about a foot. Looking behind him he say a very scared Austin pinned to the wall with the arrow planted about two inches from his jewels.

Letting out a small groan Percy exclaimed: "Bollocks".


	6. Chapter 6 - How did he do that?-

Big thanks to Apollo's writer for the review, I do try and I hope you enjoy your name sake making an appearance. Also big hello to XxxDaughterOfTheSeaxxX, Beakers47 and The Rilojiser for favouriting the story. I am sorry that it took so long to update but take heart in the knowledge that i will not be abandoning the it. Next, hello to the new followers I hope you enjoy the new chapter and as I said on the first page please contact me with any tips, tricks or corrections you may have especially anything to do with Potassium like dried apricots. They contain quite a bit of it.

How did he do that?

Everything was silent on the range as the arrow slowly reverberated in between Austins legs. After a few moments Will turned his gaze form Percy to Austin and back again.

" How the hell..." stated Will, slowly scratching his head. "Okay Austin, he said worried about the health of his fellow camper as it was not often you saw an Apollo camper look like he had spent the last few years in the shade with the same complexion as the son of Hades." You should head back to the Cabin go lie down for a bit,I don't think you need to stay here for now". Slowly nodding Austin prised himself away from the bronze mesh and with the help of Kayla and Ryan slowly made his way over to the exit of the range.

"Ryan, Will stated to the retreating figures, On your way back can you pick up a couple of the kids training bows and also get IT ready just in case"

Ryan just nodded still trying to figure out how that had happened. Like most children of Apollo he was blessed by near instinctual archery but how someone could shoot a blunt training arrow and make it rebound in such a way it sharpened the edge before hitting behind him was beyond him. Even with Hecate's help he would not say such a thing was possible.

Percy meanwhile was looking like he wanted to hide or at least turn invisible. Slowly clamping down on his doubt he turned back to Will. Triton was counting on him to do this. All he had to do was hit a 10ft wide torch placed 50 yards away. Looking back to the target he sighed as he looked at the range markings. 10ft. He missed the largest target they had at 10 feet away!

"Ok so what are we going to do now, I have no clue what to do next?" Percy questioned.

Snapping back his attention to Percy, Will weighed the options out in his mind. " First thing we are doing is getting you the hell away from any arrows, I'm not sure Austin could handle another shock like that. Then while we wait for Ryan to get back with the training bow we will be going over the stance again. Although it looked okay we have to be missing something and believe me when I say the sanity of the Apollo cabin is on the line here. We will figure it out"

For the next few minutes Will had the son of Poseidon hold his stance while he went over and measured it, making sure to double check the length and angle of the stance. " Um Will, Percy questioned, what are you doing?

" Look Percy, Austin and I spent the whole morning trying to get you in the proper stance and we honestly can't see what is going wrong so if instinct has failed we are going to give logic a chance. I am going to send these measurements to the Athena cabin. If there is something wrong they should be able to help us find it.

Nodding Percy resumed his stance as Will finished up. Just as he was about the ask what they were going to do now both Ryan and Kayla showed up with the training bows. Soon after the training range was home to an almighty crack as Percy stood there holding a training bow with a cut sting and a shattered arrow in pieces around him.

"Did he just.., said Kayla, looking at Will and Ryan.

"I think he did, just when I think he could not get any worse he somehow cut the bow sting with the arrow he just shot from the same bow before the arrow shattered, explained Ryan.

Looking like he was about to cry Will walked over to the other two Apolloites.

" Do we have the photos ready", he asked. " I have no idea if we could even teach Percy after seeing that but there is no way on the gods earth that we can do it in the time frame. We are going to have to get dad down to help. It may be our only chance at getting this done and we have to get this done. Knowing what happened to Scott our sanity depends on it. So unless you guys have any other ideas I think it is time to pray" Shaking their heads Ryan, Will and Kayla made their way over to a small brazier on a podium that they had prepared earlier just in case and when they made sure the flames were hot enough they gently scooped in some of Apollos favorite food hoping that it would be enough to call him down.

Percy watched on from the side as the trio threw some smores into the fire. He knew he was bad but calling down the God of Archery was maybe a bit much even for him. A few seconds later after reviewing his skill with a bow he realised that the siblings probably had the right idea. It would probably take divine intervention for this to work.

In a great flash of yellow with rock music playing in the background Apollo appeared in the middle of the range.

"Yo, he said as the music died off and the eyes of the spectators stop trying to explode, So what is so important that 3 of my munchkins needed to pray to the Almighty me for help. Maybe you all needed poetry lessons." Apollo continued.

Groaning slightly Will wondered if this was really a good idea after all. Getting ready to cut of his father and hopefully not have to sit through another 4 hours Poetry lesson he mumbled a word under his breath "Bollocks"


	7. Chapter 7 -Are you serious?-

Hello everyone and I hope you all enjoy the next chapter, Big thanks to Miguelonti for being my latest favoriter and AEthereal Devastation, pta1353, Willow D'Forest and Lacus01 for following. it means a lot. No new reviews though.. must be because the story is just so awesome and without error.

See you all next time

P.S. Watermelon contains a lot of potassium

Are you serious?

"Okay, so let's start with the Haiku". Lectured Apollo. A blackboard and wooden desks appearing before him. "A haiku is an awesome Japanese poem of seventeen syllables in 3 lines of five, seven and five. Traditionally evoking images of the natural world or praising my awesomeness. An example would be:

I am so awesome.

I just create awesomeness.

You are all welcome.

So, using my awesome example we are going to deconstruct the finer points of the Haiku before we start on building your own. You see the natural world part is easy as I am the sun so..."

"Um Father, interrupted Will, As much as I would like to hear more about poetry and you should come by and give the Hermes cabin a lecture some time in the future. Preferably a very long one on a Sunday as they can't tell a sonnet from a couplet. But right now we have a rather big problem we need your help with."

Apollo quickly clapped his hands and all the desks poofed away in a cloud of gold smoke before being replaced by a burgundy leather armchair and a chaise long. Will found him self instantly transported lying down on the chaise as Apollo sat back in the armchair now holding a note pad a supporting a beard.

"Ah problem with girls is it." Apollo continued in a very bad German accent. "Vell, he said, it all stems from your mother, wow what a woman the thing she did with her..."

"No No No" yelled Will with his hands pressed over his ears. "It is an archery problem, a problem to do with archery, bows and arrows not any of the other stuff."

Apollo quickly stood up before waving his had and making the furniture disappear before slowly looking at Will trying to understand what he was going on about. A child of Apollo needing help with archery was impossible they had all inherited a bit of his awesomeness. Well apart from that one kid in Gaul during 50 BC called Cacofonix but he was not going there.

As Will continued his explanation the god started to lose his look of confusion before slowly a grin started to spread on his features before he burst into laughter. " Damn cuz, Apollo said, You got them good but I know your archery skills and there is no way I am getting mixed up in that so I'm going to split. Nice to see you again though and next..." Apollo trailed off as he caught sight of the photos that Ryan, Will and Kayla were holding.

"Are those...", He asked not wanting to really know the answer.

"Yes, they are. We did not want to have to use them but you left us no choice. Even you understand how hard it will be to teach Percy archery". Kayla said. "We need your help in this or we will have to post these on every message board and bar within the tri-state area. We don't want to do this but we have no choice."

" And you would go against your own Father to do it, Apollo growled, An Olympian to boot/"

Ryan, Will and Kayla looked to each other trembling slightly. "Yes" squeaked out Will as he tensed expecting to be blasted any second.

"Well ok then, said Apollo, It will be fun plus I get to say I managed to get the worst archer in history to hit a target so what have you done so far?" He asked.

At this Will sweatdroped before launching into an explanation of the days activities.

"This all sounds like a lot of hard, hard work, interrupted Apollo after 5 minutes, Percy get over here I am just going to bless you and then boom problem solved." The god said smugly. Quickly Percy made his way over to Apollo before the deity placed his hand on Percy's shoulder. The range was suddenly engulfed in a bright light before everything cleared up. After a gesture from Apollo, Percy picked back up his bow not feeling much different and took aim with another arrow. Turning his head slightly he looked to Apollo making sure that this is what he was supposed to a nod from the sun god he turned back towards the target before releasing the arrow.

Hearing a yelp from behind him he turned only to find Ryan pinned to the wall again, this time the arrow went through his shirt collar, half an inch from his neck. Ryan turned his head to look strait at the arrow before promptly fainting.

"Now do you understand our problem father, said Kayla"

For the first time in his life Apollo did not know what to say, he was speechless. He was the god of archery yet for the life of him he could not explain what just happend. Not a word was spoken as he tried to figure out exactly what had happened until his mouth caught up with the situation and utter a single word: "Bollocks"


	8. Chapter 8 -What can we do now?-

Thank you all for the reviews they really do make the house spent gazing at my keyboard wondering how you stop spelling chihuahuahuahuahu.. worth while. Glad you enjoyed the chapter Miguelonti, have another one and Davechaosity319 I do try although I'm not sure where excrement came into it? As for you PuddlePirATEpro "I was really close to laughing while reading..." damn I will have to try harder. This time I will make you laugh!

Also big thanks to PuddlePirATEpro. Davechaosity319 and joloisez for adding my story to their favourites and to firesword01 for following.

I hope you all enjoy this latest chapter.

Fringlish.

P.S. I am running out of high potassium foods to name, Help!

What can we do now?

Apollo the God of music, poetry, art, oracles, archery, plague, medicine, sun, light and knowledge stood at the archery range of camp half blood with his mouth hanging open. He could not understand what had just happened. In his 3000 years of being on earth he had never seen anything like it. A mortal blessed by himself not only missed a target that was right in front of him but somehow mad a shot so impossible that the god had never seen it done before. It was at this point that Apollo understood why his children had been standing between Percy and the target when he flashed down. It really was the safest place to be.

Finally the silence was broken as Will and Kayla walked over to Ryan and pulled out the arrow holding him to the fence. Will picked up his half brother before throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman's lift and started to carry him over to the exit. When he was half way there he turned half way before addressing his father. "Good luck dad, even we did not know that it was so bad but remember that we have those photos. We need this to be done." He finished before turning back around and walking out of the gate with Kayla following close behind.

Breaking out of his daze Apollo walked over to Percy. Taking the bow out of his hands he moved back and placed the weapon back into the storage locker before closing the door and adding a padlock and chain around it.

Turning back to Percy he started to wonder what he could do as he took stock of the situation. Maybe my blessing was not strong enough he thought to himself. For a normal mortal it would be more than enough as an Olympic blessing contains about the same divine energy as a demigod so half of his being would become excellent at archery but Percy is far from normal I doubt the blessing covered 10% of his essence but it should still show some improvement even then. His natural skill or unskill with a bow must just be so bad that a small boost was not enough. If I have to train him the normal way though I doubt I will be finished before the next great cycle began and the titans decide to try again so that is out but there is not much else I can do unless..

"Hey Percy, said Apollo, I have a great, awesome and fabulous idea that will fix your problem". At this Percy visibly shuddered before replying "you have a good idea! How screwed am I then?" Percy asked.

"Now non of that Mr saviour of Olympus, the god counted, it is a good idea now before we begin I just need to go get a few things" Mumbling under his breath about smart arse demigods that sound a bit like his sister he flashed away in another explosion of rock music that sounded strangely like Queen.

Hmm, Percy thought hearing the music. Maybe there is a reason why Apollo is so flamboyant. 3000 years and still not married must mean something. Well I might as well get some more practice in while waiting for Sir Sunshine. Walking back over to the metal cabinet Percy unlocked the chain and opened the door before selecting one of the least powerful training bows in there along with some orange arrows so that he could track them when they went flying. No sense maiming someone before dinner after all.

Moving back to the edge of the range he took aim trying to remember all the old lessons that Chiron had tried to drill into his head as well as everything else he knew about the activity. Deciding that prolonging it would not help matter he released an arrow only for it to fly directly upwards where he lost sight of it in the midday sun. Almost immediately Apollo re-appeared in his chariot that took the form of a red Maserati looking rather annoyed. It was not until the glare receded that Percy understood why. The top of the range sun chariot had a flat tire, a flat tire with a very distinct orange arrow sticking in it.

Apollo marched over and ripped the bow out of the demigods hands before sealing back inside the locker before covering the locker in a few more chains to seal it shut.

"You are really lucky that you are my favourite cousin Percy but you are not allowed to practice anymore without a god watching you. Knowing your luck you will find a way to some how shoot dad in the arse while he is sitting on his throne and I would hate to see you thrown into Tartarus... again. Now just wait a here a bit longer I will be back soon"

Sitting back in the car Apollo once more flashed away this time with some Elton John playing. Percy sat back down on one of the benches that littered the starting area wondering how he would be able to learn archery in the time frame. The only other person who could help as much as Apollo would be his twin Artemis but with Apollo popping in and out he could not deal with the Drama and theatre that always accompanied the twins, they definitely got that from their father.

Thinking about his situation again he muttered a single word under his breath... "Bollocks"


	9. Chapter 9 -Here goes nothing!-

Hello again!

A new chapter up. I hope you all like it.

I know this is a lot quicker than everyone was expecting so as such you will not of had time to post reviews to tell me what you think about the story. (you were going to review, were you not?) As such I expect an extra long one to compensate. Don't let me down!

Big thanks to Miguelonti who did get one up in time. Have a nice day as well! and to sailorseas for adding it to your favourites I hope i will not disappoint you.

Fringlish.

P.S. Wild salmon has quite a bit of potassium.

P.S.S. In case you were wondering the chapter was out a lot sooner than normal because I lost internet connection for a few hours so my fingers went walking on my keyboard. So Enjoy!

Here goes nothing!

Percy did not have to wait long alone in the archery range before Mr sunshine re-appeared. This time appearing with a burst of Boy George in the background that did nothing to dissuade Percy from his previous thoughts however his attention was immediately drawn elsewhere as Apollo was holding a snake in his hands. Percy had fought against the Minotaur, the chimera, Medusa, Titans, and Primordials but there was something about snakes that just rubbed him the wrong way. Even eels repulsed him and he was pre-programmed to love all aquatic life.

Snakes why did it have to be snakes! He thought to himself as his brain conjured up an image of him wearing a brown fedora and a leather jacket for some reason.

"Um Apollo, Percy said, How is a snake supposed to help me learn archery. I can't think of a single thing to do with it that could help"

"A Percy, Percy, Percy. Replied Apollo. This is not a snake"

"It really is, affirmed Percy, It has scales, is long and thin, no army, no legs, forked tongue and that foreboding hissing noise,. It really does look like a snake."

"No, counted Apollo. As I said this is not a snake it is a Python more importantly it is the Python of Delphi. A terrifying monster that took me at my prime to defeat and only then after a 3 day long battle. A monster that can crush gods, swallow cows whole and bite rocks in half." At this vigorous introduction the python slowly lifted its head before curling back up in the warmth that came off the sun god.

"You stole a normal python from the Bronx Zoo didn't you" Percy said raising his eyebrow in question.

"Of course not, Hermes did it for me". Apollo replied quickly before swearing under his breath. "No it is not it is the fearsome Python of Delphi that you must slay to get better at archery. A task that many heroes would not be able to complete. A feat of great acclaim." With that Apollo set the Python down in front of Percy where it proceeded to curl up more missing the warmth provided by the deity. The demigod immediately wished he had something to keep the snake away from him now that it was a lot closer, A long leather whip would be perfect.

"Again, Percy inquired, It feels like I am missing some crucial point of information on this plan. How will killing the snake make me a better archer?"

"Well you see Percy, As a god I can bless people left right and centre sometimes from the rear as well," Apollo said trailing off in thought for a bit before he resumed, "and normally that would be enough to empower everyone with essence D'awesome. That's me by the way! But if you have a lot of power it will not do too much to you. A demigod fine, they would normally become a good archer but a minor god may only gain a slight increase in skill. You however seem to be off the scale for a mortal. I have no idea why Dad has not thrown you in Tatarus... again despite the saving the world thing but I means that a normal boost won't it.

I suspect that if I had to teach you the normal way you would be 80 before you could do the shot needed so I need to give you more a boost to try and counteract... whatever it is you have that makes you so bad. The only way I can do that is if you become my Champion and in order to do that you need to do a great act in my name or complete a task assigned to you. So if I as the god of truth say that the snake is the Python of Delphi and you kill it you will have vanquished my immortal enemy and I can make you my champion. It should increase the blessing tenfold and that would even make a minor god an Olympic gold medallist in the sport. So lets get to it."

Stepping back slightly Apollo started to wail and shake.

" Oh woe is me the Python of Delphi is here to get revenge. The beast has tracked me down and will soon try to destroy me as it tried all those years ago. If only someone could help me out of this problem."

With acting talents equal to his poetry composition Apollo continued on his tirade before Percy quickly uncapped riptide and cut the head of the Python lest he be scared for life by the Olympians performance.

Apollo then snapped his fingers turning the remains into a gold powder that looked a lot more like gold confetti than normal monster dust. Ignoring the blatant set up the sun god addressed Percy.

"Thank you Percy for vanquishing my immortal Nemesis the Python of Delphi. You have also shown yourself to be a noble soul and true to Olympus. Would you, on your honour accept the charge of becoming my champion." Changing he tone he quickly whispered. " Just go with it I have to use the ceremony made by the fates or it won't be acceptable in the eyes of the old laws. Just stop smirking and read this to accept" Finished Apollo showing a note in Percy's hand. Raising an eyebrow at the words Percy never the less read it out:

"The day gathers, and now my task begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword against darkness. I am the watcher in the day. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the truth that stops injustice, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honour to be the champion of Apollo, for this day and all days to come."

With a great flash of light the pledge was struck. When the glow subsided there were no noticeable differences in Percy confusing the God slightly as there should of at least been a soft glow. Reaching out to his divine energy confirmed that the ceremony had worked so the next thing was to try and hit the target again.

"As they both made their way over to the locker, Percy questioned Apollo about the oath. " That oath seemed very familiar and different to what I expected. Is there a reason for it?"

"Yes, unfortunately, replied the Olympian, As you know Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos are in charge of designing the oaths we have to use for ceremonies and recently they discovered a mortal called George R R Martin, or something like that." Pausing in recollection he swiftly continued. " They loved his work, something about twisting fate as much as they do. I believe they then spent a good few years trying to find out if he was related to any of them before adjusting some of the oaths we use. I never thought the fates could become fan girls before but there is a first time for everything I suppose. Now let us try out your new skills cousin and then I can finally get those photos back.

Picking up a bow and handing it to Percy, Apollo watched as the demigod pulled back the bow with perfect form before releasing the arrow. Immediately causing Apollo to duck as the arrow came flying backwards towards the God.

Percy just looked from the bow he was holding to the god next to him and back again before yelling the one word that came to his mind "BOLLOCKS!"


	10. Chapter 10-Okay, now what?-

Hello all! Fringlish here again with another chapter. Still waiting on more reviews people. It is always nice to see how you are doing and also if you are enjoying or still enjoying the story. On that topic, thanks Miguelonti for the review. Also hello to Apollo's writer who added the story to their favourite list and finally IDontGetIt1596 who is now following the story.

So enjoy:

P.S. Blueberries have nearly no potassium in them.

Okay, now what?

Before he could say anymore a metallic sound rang out across the field as the arrow was not stopped by the celestial bronze fence but instead ripped right through it continuing on until it hit a rock on the other side of the lake bursting into green flames turning the boulder into a burning mess of flaming slag and pebbles.

Percy slowly turned to face where the arrow had gone and stood there with his mouth hanging open, Could this go any worse he though to himself. The blessing and becoming Apollos champion has just given him super powerful flame arrows now it was even worse.

"Sooo...". Said Apollo breaking the silence as he trailed off slightly, "Why do you need to get better at archery again? Can we just say you got better then then make sure you never use a bow again? Or even better make everyone believe that you will die if you use a bow so it will not even come up? Not that that is far off the truth you may not die but everyone else would". The sun god finished.

"I can't give up, replied Percy, this is not for me but for my brother Triton." The demigod then went on to explain the situation to Apollo. As he went on Apollo just looked more and more resigned until it was over. At that point Apollo spoke up;

"Atlantian Torch..."He said. Percy nodded but before he could say anything Apollo continued;

"Underwater so an explosion will carry..." This statement earned another nod from Percy.

"In the middle of Atlantis, surrounded by all of the Merfolk and Atlantian nobility..." Apollo supplied.

"Right next to priceless works of art, statues, carvings and decorations that have been around for millennia and represent the history of an entire culture..."

getting a final nod from Percy he finished;

"Dude you are so screwed, if those pictures got out it would be annoying but I would be able to fix it with time but this... Who the hell did you piss of to get this task? Did you mock Chaos or something?" The god asked his eyebrows raised to his hairline while he slowly back away from Percy as if afraid to be seen close to him for much longer.

"Nothing like that Apollo", Percy replied.

" I sort of wish it was though as if that was the case I could just go to whomever cursed me and ask what I would have to do in order to get the curse lifted. It would be a lot easier than learning how to shoot, something simple like killing the Chimera or escaping Tartarus...Again."

"That would be much more up my street. Just roll up decapitate some poor monster, rescue a godless or hero and then done back in time for dinner. My problem just seems like a curse that just keeps on getting worse and worse as time goes on."

"When did your problems start Percy," asked Apollo, " Maybe we can use your method. Just find the cause and then zap it. Then the problem would be solved. You can go to atlantis and not blow it back out of the water and I can go back to writing my haiku in bars.

"It really has been this way as far back as I remember" The demigod said launching himself into the explanation.

When he first arrived at camp half blood, Percy was nearly the same as any non Apollo camper and could just about hit the target. After the first few months he was no Appoloite but he could shoot from behind a phalanx and not hit anyone on his side so he stopped Archery to focus on sword play. Something that he had excelled in and found a lot more enjoyable.

Everything was fine until he came back from the winter solstice after returning Zeus bug zapper. He had not thought much of the one or two times he had decided to take up the bow as it had been a while and He was not that much worse. The odd arrow flew over the target or flew down into the sand of the range but most of them actually hit the damn thing.

Then with Luke gone he became one of the best Swordsmen in camp taking over the duty of teaching a lot of demigods so he did not bother practising his archery.

After that came the little trip with the Immortal girl scouts. After a very rocky start and an even worse follow up Zoe had decided to teach him how to use a bow. Not believing his stories and not wanting to have a quest member who could not fight from a distance and use normal hunter tactics.

It would only take Zoe 2 days to ban Percy from using a bow anywhere near her again and by anywhere near she meant on the same continent.

After rescuing the moon goddess and returning back to camp he noticed another drop in his skills. It was almost like the fates were punishing him for all that training he did by making him proportionally worse at using a bow.

Every heroic deed after that seemed to make him even worse. Not by much but all the problems really added up. The last big changes were when he first refused immortality, after that he was not able to hit the target no matter how close he was and after he refused immortality and power for the second time that is when he truly became dangerous with a bow,, often shooting to the sides or behind him. After a rather short practice session just after the fall of Gaia when he shot himself, Percy decided to never use a bow again. That is until Triton has his bright idea.

"And that is basically what has happened, Said Percy, I am not sure what to do about it"

"Well it does sound like a curse the only problem is that it would have to be by someone with archery in their domain. No one else could screw you over that much. As the Titan and Titaness of the hunt have faded and you have not pissed of the Primordial of combat or Chaos it must be either me or my little sister who caused the problem." Said Apollo worriedly. " I don't remember doing anything to you so it must have been my sister but what you did to get her this mad at you I have no idea. In order to reverse it tough you will have to meet her and that will be hard enough to do without getting turned into a silver hedgehog.

With that said a great Horn was heard across the camp blowing 3 times to signal the arrival of the Hunters or Artemis.

"Well cousin if there is one thing we can count on it is your epic or abysmal luck. I will try to get little Arty over to you tomorrow as she won't leave her hunters the first night in camp. Even for her favourite older brother"

"Are you not her only brother," Percy asked Apollo. Pointing out the problem in his argument. Not really wanting to meet with Artemis if she was the cause of the curse as he rather liked his body as it is and not as a small woodland critter. He had done that before and it was not fun.

Before Apollo could reply, a cry was heard across the whole camp caused by the male half of the campers "Bollocks"


End file.
